Okay I have been REALLY bad at updating this...but here is the recap.
Week 38 nothing really was happening. Nothing, I mean no cramps just going downhill with the huge belly.
Week 39 I had on Feb 29th my 39-week appointment at the clinic. All normal...NO DILATION at all...baby was heads down and everything seems right just well wait for week 40. I made my appointment for week 40 and ultrasound.
March 1st at 3 am I woke up with heavy cramps...one, two..."Brad, I think we should start counting this..." three, four...getting worse. The sun comes out...it was not going to be a cold day but not super warm either, it felt warm. Okay contractions...these ARE contractions...hell Mary this is horrible, what the hell!!!! seriously? who came out with the freakin' idea that a human being should be in a scrutiniating pain!
Go to the clinic, bad news: You are barely dilated 1 cm....go for a walk and come back in a couple of hours. 10 am...we are walking in the park and beltline near our apartment. Every 5-10 minutes I was controlling my breath and talking with Brad. Holding his hand, holding myself over him in a horrible pain. At the end of the walk by noon I was thinking "is this it?", "is this the day we were preparing for so long?"...I had so many weird thoughts:
They put me in a wheelchair...I have to say...wheelchairs are the most uncomfortable thing ever. Who invented that crap. I feel bad for people who MUST be in one. I feel too little..too low and in pain. I see blurry images of strangers...where is my mom? Brad? I saw him and a voice that tells me "hold me hold me" and "look at me look at me"..suddenly a doctor showed up in the middle and told me "focus you are doing great"...focus dickhead? focus in what?!!! Men are so fucking lucky...if I were a men and see a woman in this pain I will cover my balls in cotton balls for the rest of the day in fear that might happened to me.
Fast forward...I am at the hospital, OKAY. Now where is my darn epidural people? A cheerleader team of nurses received me, smiling...blond gals most of them...am I like in Beverly Hills 9201 or whatever the number is? I am like...okay "We were waiting for you"...I am fucking glad..."where is my epidural"..."oh is coming soon"..."what you mean with soon?" soon can mean 1 minute to 8 hours...not soon enough for me...
I got in a bed...my mom is there, Brittany (my sis in law) and Brad's mom arrives...oh cool I have visitors...expectators...camera is on...okay WHERE is my epidural. They gave me like 10 freakin' pages to sign...to be honest they could have put to sign "I renounce all my organs" and I would have sign it without knowint it...is just stupid for WHAT I "pre register"? so stupid procedure that doesn't mean anything. Again, WHERE is my epidural?
A cute guy came in...all the expectators must go except Brad. Brad takes my hand and the nurse instruct me not to move "even if a contraction is coming"...SERIOUSLYYYYY?!!! "How long have you been doing this?" I asked to the anesthesiologist...he looks too young to be doing this, cute though but too young...uhmm okay whatever. as long you know what are you doing. He said something about my nice back curve...not sure what tha tmeans but doubt was a sexual connotation of any kind. I didn't care that I actually I didn't do anything with my hair. Oh well who cares.
Slowly...oh I am a human being again. I can see the mountain (contractions) in the monitor and don't feel anything...so by 4pm I was dilated at 7cm...they put Pitocin on my IV to make it faster since my contractions still were 8 minutes apart, they should be 5 minutes apart...uhm why I feel pain again. Another anesthesiologist came...Puerto Rican, older...whatever he puts in there my legs are gone. Is a very weird sensation..I mean WEIRD but I didn't care.
By 5pm I was full dilated (that means 10 cm)...now I have to say I never understood the entire measure shit in this place. In Panama we use the metric system but we use pounds for weight...but in here you use the English system all the way but when you are pregnant...things are in weeks, cm, oz and mililiters, liters ...WHY? do you think Idon't have enough worries to do conversions at this time of the day people? Anyway that was a mild vent.
Dr Williams who was the one on call at my clinic, and saw me earlier on gave the news "we are having a baby before dinner!" yaaahoooo wooohoo...I think Iwas like "YEAH!!!" and Brad was smiling soo much like somebody told him that he was getting a BMW 5 series brand new just for free. Ha! no dear you are going to spend WAY more than that! haha.
At 6pm something I started pushing...only me, Brad and the nurse. Which actually, Caroline, the nurse graduated with Britt in the same graduation we went to Augusta last year...uhmm isn't she too young? yes, but heck...I was like that...just brand new engineer and wanted that people believe how good I was. But in labor, you REALLY don't care. I did not care. So far for me she was doing an excellent job because I didn't know anything about "pushing" a watermelon out of my vagina (did I say the V word? get over yourself people!)
By 6.45pm or something the nurse told Brad if he wanted to see "the head"...and then "oh there is so much hair...do you want to see it?" I somehow was able to pull myself up (very strange position) and I saw the hair...I mean there is HAIR and a head like a cone and redish and I am like WTF that thing is coming out of me??? but doesn't hurt...great. Then the nurse called the doctor...and the doctor and a bunch of other nurses came running. I mean it was like war zone...so many instructions "don't push" "omg this kid is almost out"..."stop what are you doing"....well duh I am like in labor you know...then is like "one push...now" okay..."stop stop stop" I swear I am NOT doing anything else...but I just felt a pressure and HE came. Dylan Yoshi Sill Taylor was born at 7.03pm with less than an hour of push and basically at the end I even didn't feel it coming out. This bright big red WARM boy was put over me in a white towel...he was sooo hot and big and then it hits me. I gave birth to our son.
I have no words to explain the cascade of feelings...and I still can. The recovery and such shitty parts I will leave it alone and won't tell you shit about it. It sucks, but actually I am recovering pretty fast. I am already using my pre pregnancy jeans and I loving it. Still some belly to sucked up but nothing major...that shit will disappear soon.
I am excited and yes it comes with big challenges and yes, I know many of you will say "I told you so you won't be able to do this or that". Guess what? Every time you say it is more than a challenge to me. I will tell you that my life is not yours and that's the beauty of all...mine is unique and I love and will love it as is. That's all I can say right now.
Week 38 nothing really was happening. Nothing, I mean no cramps just going downhill with the huge belly.
Week 39 I had on Feb 29th my 39-week appointment at the clinic. All normal...NO DILATION at all...baby was heads down and everything seems right just well wait for week 40. I made my appointment for week 40 and ultrasound.
March 1st at 3 am I woke up with heavy cramps...one, two..."Brad, I think we should start counting this..." three, four...getting worse. The sun comes out...it was not going to be a cold day but not super warm either, it felt warm. Okay contractions...these ARE contractions...hell Mary this is horrible, what the hell!!!! seriously? who came out with the freakin' idea that a human being should be in a scrutiniating pain!
Go to the clinic, bad news: You are barely dilated 1 cm....go for a walk and come back in a couple of hours. 10 am...we are walking in the park and beltline near our apartment. Every 5-10 minutes I was controlling my breath and talking with Brad. Holding his hand, holding myself over him in a horrible pain. At the end of the walk by noon I was thinking "is this it?", "is this the day we were preparing for so long?"...I had so many weird thoughts:
- I hope this kid looks normal
- Is it a boy or a girl...okay are we really going for Dylan Yoshi if it's a boy?
- Omg this really really hurts...why why I know they told me "you will know" but this is horrible...the worse part YOU KNOW is coming! and yes another more and another...and another...I am going to die. I need to push...something needs to come out NOW!
- Am I going to ask for an epidural...what's the deal to go without it? oh geez this pain is horrible
- Okay oh no...I didn't order my cube, it's a mess...I didn't log off! well at least I am not in the office. Well Sam should be happy, this didn't happen during working hours.
- Oh the vases of my plants are empty and with stinky water...so disorganized. Oh I forgot to teach Julie something else...nevermind, they all will figure it out.
- Oh my gosh...really I am going in labor...I am panicking, no no I am NOT ready for this. What I will do , can I breastfeed? I am not ready for this...aggg mom? really? Am I going to be call mom already/ I am not ready!!!
- Well the good news is that I hope I pushed and that thing will come out soon
- This is so unknown...I am glad I didn't spend money in the childbirth class this is so stupid, there is no way this happen to everyone! some are lucky than others...this pain is horrifying!
They put me in a wheelchair...I have to say...wheelchairs are the most uncomfortable thing ever. Who invented that crap. I feel bad for people who MUST be in one. I feel too little..too low and in pain. I see blurry images of strangers...where is my mom? Brad? I saw him and a voice that tells me "hold me hold me" and "look at me look at me"..suddenly a doctor showed up in the middle and told me "focus you are doing great"...focus dickhead? focus in what?!!! Men are so fucking lucky...if I were a men and see a woman in this pain I will cover my balls in cotton balls for the rest of the day in fear that might happened to me.
Fast forward...I am at the hospital, OKAY. Now where is my darn epidural people? A cheerleader team of nurses received me, smiling...blond gals most of them...am I like in Beverly Hills 9201 or whatever the number is? I am like...okay "We were waiting for you"...I am fucking glad..."where is my epidural"..."oh is coming soon"..."what you mean with soon?" soon can mean 1 minute to 8 hours...not soon enough for me...
I got in a bed...my mom is there, Brittany (my sis in law) and Brad's mom arrives...oh cool I have visitors...expectators...camera is on...okay WHERE is my epidural. They gave me like 10 freakin' pages to sign...to be honest they could have put to sign "I renounce all my organs" and I would have sign it without knowint it...is just stupid for WHAT I "pre register"? so stupid procedure that doesn't mean anything. Again, WHERE is my epidural?
A cute guy came in...all the expectators must go except Brad. Brad takes my hand and the nurse instruct me not to move "even if a contraction is coming"...SERIOUSLYYYYY?!!! "How long have you been doing this?" I asked to the anesthesiologist...he looks too young to be doing this, cute though but too young...uhmm okay whatever. as long you know what are you doing. He said something about my nice back curve...not sure what tha tmeans but doubt was a sexual connotation of any kind. I didn't care that I actually I didn't do anything with my hair. Oh well who cares.
Slowly...oh I am a human being again. I can see the mountain (contractions) in the monitor and don't feel anything...so by 4pm I was dilated at 7cm...they put Pitocin on my IV to make it faster since my contractions still were 8 minutes apart, they should be 5 minutes apart...uhm why I feel pain again. Another anesthesiologist came...Puerto Rican, older...whatever he puts in there my legs are gone. Is a very weird sensation..I mean WEIRD but I didn't care.
By 5pm I was full dilated (that means 10 cm)...now I have to say I never understood the entire measure shit in this place. In Panama we use the metric system but we use pounds for weight...but in here you use the English system all the way but when you are pregnant...things are in weeks, cm, oz and mililiters, liters ...WHY? do you think Idon't have enough worries to do conversions at this time of the day people? Anyway that was a mild vent.
Dr Williams who was the one on call at my clinic, and saw me earlier on gave the news "we are having a baby before dinner!" yaaahoooo wooohoo...I think Iwas like "YEAH!!!" and Brad was smiling soo much like somebody told him that he was getting a BMW 5 series brand new just for free. Ha! no dear you are going to spend WAY more than that! haha.
At 6pm something I started pushing...only me, Brad and the nurse. Which actually, Caroline, the nurse graduated with Britt in the same graduation we went to Augusta last year...uhmm isn't she too young? yes, but heck...I was like that...just brand new engineer and wanted that people believe how good I was. But in labor, you REALLY don't care. I did not care. So far for me she was doing an excellent job because I didn't know anything about "pushing" a watermelon out of my vagina (did I say the V word? get over yourself people!)
By 6.45pm or something the nurse told Brad if he wanted to see "the head"...and then "oh there is so much hair...do you want to see it?" I somehow was able to pull myself up (very strange position) and I saw the hair...I mean there is HAIR and a head like a cone and redish and I am like WTF that thing is coming out of me??? but doesn't hurt...great. Then the nurse called the doctor...and the doctor and a bunch of other nurses came running. I mean it was like war zone...so many instructions "don't push" "omg this kid is almost out"..."stop what are you doing"....well duh I am like in labor you know...then is like "one push...now" okay..."stop stop stop" I swear I am NOT doing anything else...but I just felt a pressure and HE came. Dylan Yoshi Sill Taylor was born at 7.03pm with less than an hour of push and basically at the end I even didn't feel it coming out. This bright big red WARM boy was put over me in a white towel...he was sooo hot and big and then it hits me. I gave birth to our son.
I have no words to explain the cascade of feelings...and I still can. The recovery and such shitty parts I will leave it alone and won't tell you shit about it. It sucks, but actually I am recovering pretty fast. I am already using my pre pregnancy jeans and I loving it. Still some belly to sucked up but nothing major...that shit will disappear soon.
I am excited and yes it comes with big challenges and yes, I know many of you will say "I told you so you won't be able to do this or that". Guess what? Every time you say it is more than a challenge to me. I will tell you that my life is not yours and that's the beauty of all...mine is unique and I love and will love it as is. That's all I can say right now.
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