So this is it huh? That's how I suppose to feel...well I really don't know what people expect me to feel. I am tired, exhausted, kind of scare...and sometimes I wish I will be in February 29th again. Why? I have no specific answer for that. Don't get me wrong...I will have Dylan ten times again...X times again. He is just beautiful. I mean he is seriously a handsome kid. You know how mix kids can come...but this one, we did just good.
I mean one of the good things that Dylan was born is that I actually can drink without affecting him. And I know I know I have said a lot about drinking...but the reality I DO LIKE TO DRINK. It is not going to change now and never until I die. I think is awesome to drink, no...not 1 drink...I like to drink around 3 good cold beers, 2 margaritas...and if everything is around food...wine please.
Anyway I am not sure what is this post is exactly about...oh motherhood. Well I have to say I do understand now some of the fears that I guess my mother was feeling and I could not understand them. The best I can do is to prepare Dylan for the good and bad out there. How to prepare him...gee I don't know, there is no book that came after the delivery date in the mail you know. Heck, he was screaming after the circumcision and we had no idea it was going to hurt him that bad for four days, oh well. And yes we kNOW was not necessary but is one of those things that you have to decide to do and since we think yes, it was done.
I think the most important part that I have learned is that no matter how tired somedays I feel, no matter that I carry him back and forth and I feel I have no energy for some reason, or I have no idea WHY is he crying at this moment...he suddenly smiles and I am like "okay I love you a lot" and I forget that at 2 am I will be waking up to feed him.
I guess it all comes like a circus...attending him, Brad, keep friendships...be active, go out, do errands, thinkingt that I will be back to work...all that together is a juggling act, that I must do but the coolest thing is that I don't have to be GREAT at that...I don't have to be perfect. I must be fun doing it. And I am.
I mean one of the good things that Dylan was born is that I actually can drink without affecting him. And I know I know I have said a lot about drinking...but the reality I DO LIKE TO DRINK. It is not going to change now and never until I die. I think is awesome to drink, no...not 1 drink...I like to drink around 3 good cold beers, 2 margaritas...and if everything is around food...wine please.
Anyway I am not sure what is this post is exactly about...oh motherhood. Well I have to say I do understand now some of the fears that I guess my mother was feeling and I could not understand them. The best I can do is to prepare Dylan for the good and bad out there. How to prepare him...gee I don't know, there is no book that came after the delivery date in the mail you know. Heck, he was screaming after the circumcision and we had no idea it was going to hurt him that bad for four days, oh well. And yes we kNOW was not necessary but is one of those things that you have to decide to do and since we think yes, it was done.
I think the most important part that I have learned is that no matter how tired somedays I feel, no matter that I carry him back and forth and I feel I have no energy for some reason, or I have no idea WHY is he crying at this moment...he suddenly smiles and I am like "okay I love you a lot" and I forget that at 2 am I will be waking up to feed him.
I guess it all comes like a circus...attending him, Brad, keep friendships...be active, go out, do errands, thinkingt that I will be back to work...all that together is a juggling act, that I must do but the coolest thing is that I don't have to be GREAT at that...I don't have to be perfect. I must be fun doing it. And I am.
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