Explicit words...be aware.
WHAT THE FUCK! second day in the working and I forgot my breast pump, hell arise! Thanksfully my hero Brad decide to eliminate his lunch and go back to the apartment to get my pump. Even those horrible hours were tough, I had to concentrate doing things that I have not done in a long long time. I even can't remember where my folder is at!!! Three months and I became an idiot...really? Where is my query? How am I suppose to do this? Did I this before? Are you sure? I feel dumb and more dumb with at the hours go by.
Back on the pumping...yes, I am proud to say I breastfeed and I will leave it like that. No commercial punded here is just the way it is. And if you are not a fan of breastfeeding or think is wrong, move on and don't post anything or I am going to "hunt you down!". People in this country are INSANE about this stupid war about formula vs breastfeeding moms. I mean...is like a catfight. I really give a F if you want to give tofu milk to your child but leave me alone. I have to say is easy for me to bring my boobs with me wherever we go than to think how many freakin' hours the milk was out and if it should be okay to give it or not. See, feeding is a WHOLE new chapter to learn in parenthood and I didn't know that. Fucking unreal. So many charts and hours to count...geez, I can't imagine if you didn't like mathematics. Anyway even if you decide not do any of the above...your body, well doesn't know that yet so it will continue produce milk until it figures it out that there is no need for it. But in the meantime...If many of you haven't had the luck to know what it feels to not pump when your body think a baby needs to feed from you, I can give you these few words. Imagine...just imagine that you want to come but it hurts and you just can't. Get the picture? And the pressure will continue growing, that's ...that is the worse part. Anyway, good luck for me I got my pump before it got worse. Of course, Sam (my GM), as curious as a cat asked me what was going on...when I explained him the situation in secondary words...his face was priceless.
I still can't and I guess I will never undersand what is the fixation of this country in reality TV. Please people get a life! I really didn't put the TV on until 3pm when the Law & Order marathon was on in TNT, then at 6pm I would change it to USA to watch NCIS. But in the mornings...oh gosh...from Teen Mom, Basketball Wives...what a pair of bitches and low class citizens! all that drama and just disgusting shows that in all honesty people should be ashame of that. Is like...really America? is that the best you can do? horrible. I can't explain the dismay of that. I have to say that the only show I did like it a lot in the mornings was in Food Network: Jamie's Oliver 30 minutes meals and the green curry I did was phenomenal so thanks Jamie...by the way he is a hot British guy (but married with three kids..). We found a new TV show that we do like Top Gear (is about cars) but the BBC version is hilarious! and of course I can watch over and over PBS Masterpiece and I will be waiting for the season 3 of Sherlock Holmes.
We planned accordingly Dylan's daycare days, so he started a week ago and he has been doing good and me too. I did cry the first day I left him...and the second day. But it has been good and a good decision for all of us. He is really happy, he normally is a happy baby. I wait for him every evening like a new Christmas present that is put below the Christmas tree. I miss him during the day but the waiting time to see him, is just really good for me. I feel I am concentrating good at work but I don't feel entirely happy with some changes. Nothing wrong with changes is just that I know when the judges on the last surfing competition didn't notice I was riding some waves.
I have learned with time in corporations that if a wave start to be too big to ride and you want to shine, don't become a crazy Hawaiian, go and find a better beach with better waves. I think that says it all.
I am dividing everyday my brain in so many ways that until today, Thursday, I was able to NOT forget a single thing. I still have issues finding my keys in my purse. I know they are there, I just can't find them. I do recheck I have my wallet and my cellphone...VERY important things in my life. I have a new badge to NOT forget to enter to the daycare because is in the FAA building. So, another thing that I can't forget. I even have started to tell myself I should give a kiss to Brad because I even tend to forget that and that is something I don't want to.
Yes, having a kid OBVIOUSLY change your life but is actually fun. I am happy, I have to say you never going to be "ready" to be a parent. I still feel weird when people asked me "so how motherhood feels?". Well I don't know really. Me? a mother? still Mother's Day was kind of in a blur. I did got presents, I got cards and love and a son to celebrate.
Having a kid is not the end of the world. People should stop the fucking drama, it's annoying! seriously! Sorry I won't agree that you won't be able to do XYZ. I don't and I will continue debating on that. See, a kid is part of you, you bring it here...how possible suddenly you are not you? The other night my friend MZ told me about this gig Above & Beyond in Opera. I have long long time to not be in a gig since over a year ago 1) I was studying for my MBA hence I didn't have time to go out and 2) Then I was pregnant and I was avoiding smoky places...so I really wanted to go but a guilt mentality hit me. How I would go out and let Dylan at home? Do mothers are allowed to do that? Brad was the first one to tell me, go! I have to say I was more worry to let Brad alone with Dylan than other thing. I love Brad but he just sometimes get distracted and I know he will kill anybody for Dylan...but I was worry that he would not wake up if Dylan needed food. Well it turns out, Brad never went to bed (and he was eagerly proud to be awake when I got there and gave me all the details of his night alone with his son) even it was past 1 am and Dylan slept that day until 4 am and then woke up at 8am, fall asleep again and woke until 10am...and Brad was able to go to play golf with some friends. Everything work just fine! I was happy, Brad was happy and Dylan was great that day too. So again, yes it changes you. Instead to stay until 3 am and go to eat somewhere after the gig, I left after one of my favorites tracks and left before it was over. Instead of a red bull vodka, I had a beer cortesy of MZ. So yes it's different, but as MZ told/asked me "...but, weird, you are happy huh?". Yes, I am.
I still in desbelief we created such beautiful thing. I mean...I always said that mix kids can come and go as very pretty or very weird...we got lucky and we got a freakin' handsome one. No guarantees how will stay in the toddler and child ages...we will need to stand by and see.
My mother stayed with us almost three months since Dylan was born. My dad came to visit as well. I don't have enough words to thank my mother for the help she gave us. After she left, I have to say, I was about to pull my hairs out of my scalp. But suddenly I calm down and everything went back to calm...I still don't get why carrying a child is not considered exercise. Do you know how is to carry for 30 minutes 14 lbs of body weight back and forth while doing laundry?????
My first week at work is almost over. I have a total new respect for the ones who stay at home and for the ones who go back to work. Is a hard circus act that not even the Wallendas would be able to practice more than once. It just happens, as it comes...you have a child by choice, it changes your life and brings something I can't explain...if you ask me, I will confuse you with my answer. I am the same Maritza, the same Taylor...I just know now what my mother, grandmother repeated me to death long ago..."wait and see, you just wait and see". I can see mom, I can see.
PD. My OB insisted that after a couple of weeks women forget all the pain of labor. I will disagree. I haven't forget it. I am not traumatized either, but how possible you can forget that? are you out of your mind? So, no. I haven't forget.
WHAT THE FUCK! second day in the working and I forgot my breast pump, hell arise! Thanksfully my hero Brad decide to eliminate his lunch and go back to the apartment to get my pump. Even those horrible hours were tough, I had to concentrate doing things that I have not done in a long long time. I even can't remember where my folder is at!!! Three months and I became an idiot...really? Where is my query? How am I suppose to do this? Did I this before? Are you sure? I feel dumb and more dumb with at the hours go by.
Back on the pumping...yes, I am proud to say I breastfeed and I will leave it like that. No commercial punded here is just the way it is. And if you are not a fan of breastfeeding or think is wrong, move on and don't post anything or I am going to "hunt you down!". People in this country are INSANE about this stupid war about formula vs breastfeeding moms. I mean...is like a catfight. I really give a F if you want to give tofu milk to your child but leave me alone. I have to say is easy for me to bring my boobs with me wherever we go than to think how many freakin' hours the milk was out and if it should be okay to give it or not. See, feeding is a WHOLE new chapter to learn in parenthood and I didn't know that. Fucking unreal. So many charts and hours to count...geez, I can't imagine if you didn't like mathematics. Anyway even if you decide not do any of the above...your body, well doesn't know that yet so it will continue produce milk until it figures it out that there is no need for it. But in the meantime...If many of you haven't had the luck to know what it feels to not pump when your body think a baby needs to feed from you, I can give you these few words. Imagine...just imagine that you want to come but it hurts and you just can't. Get the picture? And the pressure will continue growing, that's ...that is the worse part. Anyway, good luck for me I got my pump before it got worse. Of course, Sam (my GM), as curious as a cat asked me what was going on...when I explained him the situation in secondary words...his face was priceless.
I still can't and I guess I will never undersand what is the fixation of this country in reality TV. Please people get a life! I really didn't put the TV on until 3pm when the Law & Order marathon was on in TNT, then at 6pm I would change it to USA to watch NCIS. But in the mornings...oh gosh...from Teen Mom, Basketball Wives...what a pair of bitches and low class citizens! all that drama and just disgusting shows that in all honesty people should be ashame of that. Is like...really America? is that the best you can do? horrible. I can't explain the dismay of that. I have to say that the only show I did like it a lot in the mornings was in Food Network: Jamie's Oliver 30 minutes meals and the green curry I did was phenomenal so thanks Jamie...by the way he is a hot British guy (but married with three kids..). We found a new TV show that we do like Top Gear (is about cars) but the BBC version is hilarious! and of course I can watch over and over PBS Masterpiece and I will be waiting for the season 3 of Sherlock Holmes.
We planned accordingly Dylan's daycare days, so he started a week ago and he has been doing good and me too. I did cry the first day I left him...and the second day. But it has been good and a good decision for all of us. He is really happy, he normally is a happy baby. I wait for him every evening like a new Christmas present that is put below the Christmas tree. I miss him during the day but the waiting time to see him, is just really good for me. I feel I am concentrating good at work but I don't feel entirely happy with some changes. Nothing wrong with changes is just that I know when the judges on the last surfing competition didn't notice I was riding some waves.
I have learned with time in corporations that if a wave start to be too big to ride and you want to shine, don't become a crazy Hawaiian, go and find a better beach with better waves. I think that says it all.
I am dividing everyday my brain in so many ways that until today, Thursday, I was able to NOT forget a single thing. I still have issues finding my keys in my purse. I know they are there, I just can't find them. I do recheck I have my wallet and my cellphone...VERY important things in my life. I have a new badge to NOT forget to enter to the daycare because is in the FAA building. So, another thing that I can't forget. I even have started to tell myself I should give a kiss to Brad because I even tend to forget that and that is something I don't want to.
Yes, having a kid OBVIOUSLY change your life but is actually fun. I am happy, I have to say you never going to be "ready" to be a parent. I still feel weird when people asked me "so how motherhood feels?". Well I don't know really. Me? a mother? still Mother's Day was kind of in a blur. I did got presents, I got cards and love and a son to celebrate.
Having a kid is not the end of the world. People should stop the fucking drama, it's annoying! seriously! Sorry I won't agree that you won't be able to do XYZ. I don't and I will continue debating on that. See, a kid is part of you, you bring it here...how possible suddenly you are not you? The other night my friend MZ told me about this gig Above & Beyond in Opera. I have long long time to not be in a gig since over a year ago 1) I was studying for my MBA hence I didn't have time to go out and 2) Then I was pregnant and I was avoiding smoky places...so I really wanted to go but a guilt mentality hit me. How I would go out and let Dylan at home? Do mothers are allowed to do that? Brad was the first one to tell me, go! I have to say I was more worry to let Brad alone with Dylan than other thing. I love Brad but he just sometimes get distracted and I know he will kill anybody for Dylan...but I was worry that he would not wake up if Dylan needed food. Well it turns out, Brad never went to bed (and he was eagerly proud to be awake when I got there and gave me all the details of his night alone with his son) even it was past 1 am and Dylan slept that day until 4 am and then woke up at 8am, fall asleep again and woke until 10am...and Brad was able to go to play golf with some friends. Everything work just fine! I was happy, Brad was happy and Dylan was great that day too. So again, yes it changes you. Instead to stay until 3 am and go to eat somewhere after the gig, I left after one of my favorites tracks and left before it was over. Instead of a red bull vodka, I had a beer cortesy of MZ. So yes it's different, but as MZ told/asked me "...but, weird, you are happy huh?". Yes, I am.
I still in desbelief we created such beautiful thing. I mean...I always said that mix kids can come and go as very pretty or very weird...we got lucky and we got a freakin' handsome one. No guarantees how will stay in the toddler and child ages...we will need to stand by and see.
My mother stayed with us almost three months since Dylan was born. My dad came to visit as well. I don't have enough words to thank my mother for the help she gave us. After she left, I have to say, I was about to pull my hairs out of my scalp. But suddenly I calm down and everything went back to calm...I still don't get why carrying a child is not considered exercise. Do you know how is to carry for 30 minutes 14 lbs of body weight back and forth while doing laundry?????
My first week at work is almost over. I have a total new respect for the ones who stay at home and for the ones who go back to work. Is a hard circus act that not even the Wallendas would be able to practice more than once. It just happens, as it comes...you have a child by choice, it changes your life and brings something I can't explain...if you ask me, I will confuse you with my answer. I am the same Maritza, the same Taylor...I just know now what my mother, grandmother repeated me to death long ago..."wait and see, you just wait and see". I can see mom, I can see.
PD. My OB insisted that after a couple of weeks women forget all the pain of labor. I will disagree. I haven't forget it. I am not traumatized either, but how possible you can forget that? are you out of your mind? So, no. I haven't forget.
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