A day like this

Dylan normally wakes up two times every night...sometimes three depending if he goes to be "early" or not. Yesterday night, he woke up around 2am and I was able to put him to bed right on...so no food, he just needed assurance that everything was fine. Then he woke up at 4.30am...would have been nicer if it was at 6am when our alarm went off although I normally I know is 5.30am and the day is on. But unfortunately he did not. He woke up hungry at 4.30am and I fed him.

Brad joined us, and fell asleep in the coach. Before that, he served me a glass of Gatorade...so sweet. And everyday is like that, a routine that it seems it will never fails...until you realized that you are the only one thinking you are in a routine...you are in a rollercoaster my friend.

It is 10pm and Dylan decided he is not going like the other days to go to bed anytime soon. Brad is taking a break, watching the 200m butterfly in which Phelps did not go for the gold for a silly "no touch" on time. Sorry but Le chot, Le Clod whatever your name is... you really are not that fast, but games are games.

I still don't get why Equestrian is a game..rich and famous, whatever.

Well, Dylan fall asleep again on his own...just wanted to play but sleep conquered. Now mom and dad can have a dinner with a cold beer.

Fell to Earth

Yesterday was 4th of July, and for third year in a row I ran/walk the Peachtree Road Race. A 10K race that thousands of people participate. Believe me, I hate to run...I mean I cannot find any pleasure in doing such thing, but for love I do it. Brad introduced me to it three years ago, something that he started five years ago as a family tradition...and somehow I got into it as well.

I guess the best part of doing it is that strangers cheer you up, thousands of volunteers along side give you water, words of courage like you are doing this for some personal cause. Like you have to do it, and is totally voluntarly. Most of the businesses along side the race (since one of the main roads of Atlanta is closed for several hours) cooperate and bring the best of mankind. I think that is the best of it...for couple of hours, everybody is friendly, you are there completing such achievement...does not matter you time. Young and old we are in the same spot...cheering each other that "we can do this...together". Is really such a great joy to feel human, that after all the bad news we heard, listen and see there is something good in humans.

Part of the race goes through what I called the Triple Crown...a series of churches of different denomination one in front of each other and beside each other. During the race some priests go out with holly water. Of course through the race you will find some Christian band, some loud prayers to remind us about our sins and that somewhere there is a heaven if we realized the wrong road ahead. I laughed and made a weird smile when I go by...I just think for a moment how possible I can say "thanks" when I remembered such horrors we read time to time in the news. Somebody rape, some child abducted...chills go through my spine and suddnely I woke up again, walking faster and tired.

Incredibly when I was going by the first church...I remember Everett, this child who could have been the friend of my son and opportunity was not given. I felt sad suddenly. And incredibly, I made a long lasting prayer while I starting to run. I promised that I was going to run until Lindbergh Way as a goal and during that time, on my head I threw out these words...for whoever listen to me, I don't care who you might want to think I say it, I just can say it to the ones I know...so I told myself, I am saying this prayer to you:

"Please give me a strength to finish this...I haven't done an exercise over a year because I just didn't feel to do it and in all reality I have no idea that being pregnant was hard...being a good mother is harder. I have doubts, concerns...please forgive me for pick up Dylan so late the last Friday. Poor child, he was the last one in the daycare and I promised myslef I won't do this again. He does not deserved it. Give me patience while I am driving, I know I shouldn't yell at people or give them the finger...I can get killed or cause something worse but really there are some idiots should not be driving at all, why you just can't put a flat tire in all their tires? at once please? Please remind me that I should remember to say I love you to Brad everyday, he does it at all times...and sometimes I feel why he do it? He loves me, what dumb me...and I sometimes still to say I love you too I am start thinking that I forgot to marinate a chicken...who cares. Think for a moment in something else than taking care of a house. The house will stay, your love can get on jeopardy if you do not pay attention it. Give strenght to my friends that miss their son, he went away too son...not fair. Give health to Dylan and Brad...and all our families so they can be part of his life too. To remember to keep in touch with friends even to say hello. Give me strength to finish my job, I don't feel happy about it...I feel I just can't keep up with anything. Am I losing myself? ...protect my parents, they are getting old and it worries me and there is not much I can do about it. Anyway, to whoever in pain...please can it go away? "

Time went up and I crossed Lindbergh Way.

Four months

It has been that long? Really?

I still can remember as it happened a day ago!...I woke up at 3am...and there was this pain...and the pain got worse for the whole day. Rush to the hospital from the OBGYN clinic...and at 7.03pm Dylan was born. Four months has passed since then and I am not, in no way, the same person I left this place early on March 1st and returned on March 4th at noon.

We left being 2 and returned being 3...scary.

Brad and I were looking at some pictures of Dylan when he was less than a month...so tiny.

And then today, he is four months!!!!

How times goes by...where it went? Well...it definetly felt that my maternity leave was eternal...and now after go back to work I am in urgent need of a long long LONG vacation.

Okay Dylan wants food...and mommy needs to stop writing!



When illness stop by and knock at your door

I always have been a sick person. No kidding. You perhaps have the luck to never see me sick, nothing enthusiastic about it. When I was a baby, my mother recalled, I had to be hospitalized just as newborn. By those old rules she wasn't allow even as a mother to stay in the same room with me. Cruel times. She until these day considered that I was a different child, less happy and angry at her because of it.

I neve worry much when I get sick because most of the time, almost with 100% guarantee I know what it is  and the outcome and thanksfully the technology solution is always at my hand.

When I was in high school and college I suffered repetitively of throat infection and such. Colds and gripes yes, but mostly infections who people still confuse bacteria cause with virus cause. But still people say "do you have a cold?", No I don't, I have a sinus infection...does not matter. But I won't continue on that discussion because people prefer just to be away of a stuffy nose person and I am fine with it...the ignorance of science is something I don't deal well with it and that's another 500 pesos.

Anyway, after so many throat infections I finally had my tonsils removed past my 20's and things seemed get better...until I moved to Georgia. If you are allergic you may fine not pleasant your stay in this state. Is just the way it is...but oh well. I am here, I went through years of shots, and multiple types of allergy pills and nasal sprays. Some work, others did not.

But with all that said, it really didn't bother me that much since I knew that I was going to get better regardless...but when sickness hit your door and go to your children that's something I have never felt before. It's anguish in the most unfair way. I don't mind how I feel...I do mind how Dylan does.

It just keep amazing me how things have changed to the point that I call friends to verify his symptoms...call the doctor several times since we just do not know. He seems in good spirits and that's all it matters. But still is just a different feeling...I don't care about my infections, possible hospitalizations...but when is about your kids, your whole world turns and now I understand how horrible was the feeling that my mother told me before. Leave me in a hospital without the possibility to do the anything about it. I couldn't not say a word, I did not talk...as a baby you can't say "oh well mom, in here...it really hurts, and even I don't have a fever my head hurts though". No, there is no way to know. I wonder how doctors even can know...a lot have to do miss and hit.

This week for us has been into know more about our child, to know when he is happy or when is not that happy...and even you did not get those two hours of sleep because you kept looking at the crib if he was fine...the smile I got from him was the best medicine I got for my sinus infection today.