2011: A lot things done

It's that time of the year, that you can look back at ALL those days that past and check and recheck what you did.

So on my timeline, I have a couple of important things that I think I should mention before the hour left I have of the 2011:

• January: I started a new position, went to Mexico City, and got stuck for three days at home due to an ice storm
• February: Another year of my life and went to Guadalajara
• March: I woke with the news that an earthquake has hit Japan and then a tsunami warning was for several parts of the world. We never knew how bad was going to be...
• April: Plans for our vacation started
• May: Vacation in Japan and Saipan
• June: The news of our lifes, our first home together AND...we are pregnant! (good to know with a Bloody Mary at hand right?)
• July: MBA summer was tough and horrible morning sickness kicked in
• August: Mother to the rescue, she stayed for a month
• September: I don't remember what happened here...anyone?
• October: I become a US citizen
• November: Thanksgiving in Panama
• December: MBA Graduation!!!!! , and Great Christmas and looking forward for the crazyness to come in 2012!

Upps..wrong day

I have good memory...but not always.

The last time we went for ultrasound was at 28 weeks. And I checked the numbers in the machine and said 3/06/2012 EDD something and then another date of 2/18/2012...so what that means is that my estimated date is March 6th, NOT March 2nd as I was telling people and I don't know WHERE I got the March 2nd.

Brad told me that he thought it was March 6th but since he thought that on dates I most of the time right he said he changed it to March 2nd because he thought he was wrong. But he was right!

So to clarify, Lil' M is due on March 6th...by my last period date...BUT by its measurments and all that they state a date of 2/18...they haven't change my due date from March...but Brad keep saying is going to be born on Feb 19th and that was before we saw the date of Feb 18th. Nostrabradamus? don't know.

Christmas Tree is done!

Well, we got the Christmas tree before Mother's Day in Panama as my current tradition that I have kept through years with my mother. Finishing it was another two weeks...

My mother and I were the decorators and dinner maker of Christmas in our home. My sister and my Dad never have been quite involved on it, but my mother and I were REALLY into it. I love Christmas...although strangely I have nothing to do with Jesus Christ and the rest of the deal. I guess for me is just a tradition not really the meaning of it but I don't bark about it either. Let people celebrate and believe what they want as long nobody try to brainwash me I am really cool with everything.

Anyway, this year my entire agenda is booked!
1. Last Sunday on the 18th was dinner with the Boones who is Brad's grandmother from the side of his mother. As every year, there was the dinner and the games...our team lost. We got presents for graduation and Christmas and that was really nice since I wasn't expecting anything for even graduation.

2. Christmas shopping is officially over...now the wrapping contest begins...

3. My director gave us Friday off...YUPIEEEEEE love you!!!!! okay let's not get crazy... but thanks a lot! great gift.

4. Today I am picking up some hallacas venezolanas that my friend Yarubi recommended me that is the closest thing she tasted to a Panamanian tamal, not exactly the same obviously but close...so getting that. Let's see how that goes.

5. Still trying to get the Picnic Ham! I can't believe is SO hard to find a ham that needs to be cook in this city! everything is the ready-to-eat cut honey baked ham...AGGGG no no that's NOT my Panamanian ham! got it?

6. Saturday 24th, dinner and Christmas with the Sills, stay overnight (we got a bed and all a room for us...time are changing).

7. Sunday 25th, cooking time and Christmas dinner with the Sill-Taylor and dinner with me, I can't cancel that again!

8. Relax and enjoy the pleasures to be with Brad and Lil Monster.

29 Weeks

Amazingly the last 10 weeks are approaching soon.

I am feeling good but starting to have some concerns...not on the baby but on myself. I am highly independent, I work full time and love it. And I intent to be back at work after the baby gets in daycare.

But I don't want to stop to be me...and I am starting to have that feeling that the "mom of Lil Monster" will stick for awhile and the battle to say I am Maritza AND the mother of Lil Monster will be long. I remember my mother used to get upset about it. "La mama de Maritza y Melanie", "La esposa del Prof Taylor". OUfffff now I got it. What about ME? she used to say.

I am a person, yes a mother, but an individual. I know all the yada yada that people tell me over and over...FINE! stay with it. I don't need to hear it. Seriously, I love you as a friend but if it's your prerogative to talk about your children ALL the time and only post pictures of them ALL the time so be it. I would like to hear what you DO too...but if you decide to be the soccer mom, that's fine. I just strongly will fight it. I don't want to be. I fought and work REALLY hard to get where I am now. And I am proud of it, hell yes.

I know some of you won't understand...I guess you just can't. And that's fine by me too. I will see how this will go.

And yes, I know time of "no sleep" will come. Well you know what? I have been clubbing past my 35's I think I can handle that pretty much. I have travel for weekends and stay up the next day to adjust to the time change...I think I can handle it. And yes, I already have few hours of sleep due to many leg cramping, uncomfortable sleeping positions and so on...Am I ready for what's coming? yes, if I can't sleep then so be it...what's the point to be bitching about BEFORE the fact? What's the point to tell me "wait for..." I don't have to wait. You complaint during your time, let me be.

Is this a blog rant today? I guess. I am tired of annoying "advices" of people that seem to try to make others feel their pain someway and pass it on, shame. Ha! If you have not walk through my shoes then please shush.

Graduation

So I am trying to go in order here...since I haven't blog anything in months, but with a very good excuse or excuses.

The last weeks of classes were a combination of horrible pain, headaches and finally a gripe that didn't go away until three weeks later. Rhinitis is common during pregnancy but for me it turned in a mix of sinusitis with killing pain. As you noticed, I survived.

My group was the LAST to present for the last class...just imagine that. Turned out I didn't get the grade I was expecting I was going to get at the beginning of the semester but I really don't care. And I mean it. I didn't care. I didn't take time to write the professor how unfair he was on  one of my grades, for what? Did I am going to become CEO for have a 4.0 GPA? nope. So be it...move on, I really don't want to even put a finger near an university for awhile. Not that I hated it but I just mentally drained of student behavior, study in general, books, papers and cases.

If I heard about Pandora, Ice-Fili, and even about how Brown Forman (for the ones who doesn't know that's Jack Daniel's) I am going to have a heart attack.

You know what is the most sad part of all? Is that I was talking about Jack Daniel's and I couldn't drink a darn drop of alcohol after it. Sacrifice? Yes it is. It is a BIG sacrifice not to drink, all for the health of Lil' M. Oh well I hope s/he appreciates it later on in life...or is going to be a harddddd way.


Here is my pic with Dean Huss and the Dean Assistant Toby, of course I look like I am grabbing their asses...ho ho ho.

25.5 Weeks

Lil is moving so much that it wakes me up!

People have asked me many times what I think it is...boy or girl. Nothing, I call him/her Lil Monster which my counsin Yessica hates it. Sorry but we just called it really lovy dovy that way and we actually like it.

Whatever it is...it is such a kickboxer and fighter. I am in training. It really moves all around, a lot...can't imagine this getting bigger? Really?

From the last doctor's appointment and prenatal visit Lil is doing great. Everything is normal and moving forward. Data as of Nov 17:

Weight: a bit over 2lbs
Size: is two weeks ahead of my current timeline
Due date: remains for March 2
Brad's guess: Feb 19
Sex guess for the majority that have talked to me is: boy
Our personal guess: none in particular

Thanksgiving - a lot to say Thanks for

We went to Panama for 2011 Thanksgiving, it was almost a dream trip. First of all since I got pregnant and with heavy morning sickness the closest to an airport was my workplace.
I miss getting on a plane, the rush of getting to the gate and waiting for my seat assigned. I couldn't sleep the night before and I really wasn't much 100% productive at work until it was time to go. Unfortunately, one of my directors didn't get I needed to catch a plane and it was asking one thousand things in 2 hours.
I have a LOT to give thanks to: my mother, even the discussions with my father, my sister with such a nice flower arrangement, my friend Cristina who organize with my mother the gathering and the balloons, my aunt Reyna for the ceviche and games, my aunt Beni for the excellent arroz con guandu y coco as only an islander knows how to do it, mi cousin Yessica and my grandmother for the tamales, Vera for the cake, and Elizabeth that couldn't assist for such great cookies. And so many others that show up to say that they care for me and my family. I have no words to thank enough. Although I told my mother I was going to Panama with very few days ahead, they planned such a nice party in no time. For the ones that couldn't be advice on time I apologize, and for the ones who were able to come I was really humble for such gesture of love and excitement for us.

Travel Systems

I think we will be going with the Britax B-Agile or B-Ready. I like the B-Ready. It comes in basic colors which is fine for us, we anyway won't know the sex of the baby. We would like a light-green for sure, but oh well. Red is all good. So here it is...you take out the stroller car seat and put the infant car seat and just one click away, plus it has several configurations. Pretty handy. And we can take the tires out so it will take less space in the trunk. Of course that's another thing...trunk space. I guess at the time of travelling we will have to reduce quite a bit our own clothing selection, but it's possible. And no...there will be NO changes on cars. We both hate vans, no offense, we just do not like them. Price tag including the infant cart seat USD 500.00 Freakin' pricey...I know there are others at half price basically, but they look SO bulky.

Cars, Bassinets, Cribs...and Monkeys

Yesterday was a discovery day for the Monster Parents.

Afterwork we went to Baby's R Us to check, on a pillow for me...of course since we were there...we decided to do more than a sneak peak to the store. Reality sets in. I mean, my belly is growing and yes, we are pregnant...there IS something growing there and it will, eventually (thanksfully because my aches are increasing), come out. But you know, is still there. Inside me. There is not something crying, or babbling or just making a noise that we can say "uh oh a baby is here". But yesterday was...waow...we are overwhelmed.

We checked the things to carry a baby in your chest...we agreed we liked the slings, but they didn't have any as we like it...they were more like a camping gear thing. Then it came the car seats...now I need a new paragraph.

Car seats, what we should know about them? At first, well nothing. I mean we were quite clueless looking at ALL of them (more than 50 in exhibition) and still not understanding WHY we had to buy one of each. Until a guy came in and explain it all in less than 100 words. I trully appreciate practicality you know. I don't want to hear the entire life awaking that was you having a kid...I, obviously, will find it out soon but I just want to know about car seats simply put. Don't bring me the NASA bullshit that I don't need. So the guy was up to the point and in 10 minutes we basically knew what we needed. Now of course is all about which one...consumer reports, consumer reviews...that will be another task. We don't want to be cheap but we do have a budget and we will stick with it.

Strollers...Pack n Plays...uh oh...so now the thing...they came in combos with built in bassinet, but then we saw a tiny wooded bassinet that we just like it...and is a rocking one. But we will need a pack n play too...uhhh ahhh decisions, decisions! We still don't get why ALL the babies in the posters 1. look alike 2. there is always cereal involved 3. they always look extremely clean. See, advertising and marketing always making shit up.

Then, the rocking chairs...we said go for it. No no we didn't buy any but we will have one. And I already put my eye in the one I like. Thanskfully none of us has spent any of our monthly (or lack of) bonuses this year...so we know where they are going to ended up.

Cribs vs Bassinets. We agreed that crib and all the nursery stuff will be done after the baby is born. There is first of all no rush on it. The baby will be in our room for the first months, most likely in a bassinet or small crib. We did like everything about animals, especially there were some cute monkey elements around ...we just love it! and that's when it hit us. We ARE going to be parents, we ARE going to have a baby. We sat down for an hour in the rocking chairs and talk like forever. Decisions are in the making...where to live, what to do, cars, when to buy things, order of things, deadlines, and finances...I love that Brad is such a financial savvy and logical in those matters. Make things way easier. I don't think I would ever embark in parenthood without that.

So we left with my snoogle pillow that made miracles yesterday along with my other pillows. Today is pampering Maritza day! I am using a massage gift card that Brad gave me for my Bday...yeah back in February!!! and then I am going to do my nails...I am for sure almost like a sloth, my nails are huge. I mean huge..they are not only long but like big. Toes..uh let's leave it at that.

Incredible Things

Seating down with my laptop and trying to finish the last part of my project about Entrepreneurship from the US to Latin America (yes, is taking me forever)...I noticed that suddenly my tshirt was moving ...YES, moving! I pulled up my tshirt and I just saw my entire belly moving from one side to the other. I think this is not normal, at this moment I think I should scream very loud and say something "there is something inside me! help me!!! what the hell is this!!" Like coming from an Alien movie. Of course that's not the case...but it's just so amazing that I can see it...and feel it. I really don't know what to say just that I need to write it.

Lil Monster is growing so far healthy and it reacts and me pushing him or her. It lovessss my right side and seems to do something near the top of my belly because my stomach feels really squeeze and I get full really quickly. How people gain weight???

My belly is getting bigger and bigger. I am getting tired and sleepy hence having trouble finishing stuff like homework.

I still need to make my photo shoot but I have somebody in mind to ask for those photos...uhmmm H?

Bigger Me

I am getting bigger...that's a fact. I will realy in the Miracle of Life to get back to normal. I am, in all honesty, getting anxious to know Lil Monster. Today I saw the kid of a co worker...and okay the kid doesn't look ANYTHING like him. I am starting to worry now...how this kid will look like? Like is sole son/daughter of Brad or me? or a combination? The entire dilemma of hybrids kids came to place...

Finishing school is almost agonizing. I feel no interest whatesover but I must finish. Few weeks to go and a lot of stuff is starting to overcome my brain cells. Too many things to discuss about the future. I am freaking out...are we ready for all this? For the very first time, the financial aspect of everything is the least of my worries. We have been doing a great job in budgeting and already leaving like we have a daycare payment to take care of. But, what about the house...I want a nursery when that will be due? what about the crib...aren't we need to be buying stuff? are we going to live here? no...so then where? and on and on and on...the extra hour given by the daylight saving time is not helping me today.

Lil M is growing, is kicking harder everytime...the good news is that I know s/he is fine and Brad is felling it and getting excited about it. His face gets so bright when it happens. I am just amazing how beatiful my boyfriend gets just to tell me nice things like everything will be fine...even I know he is worry too.

Today we watched the last part of show called "Life Before Birth" in Discovery Channel...we catched the show in the last part of birthing. I didn't want to cry but I got so emotional.  I just found it they are repeating in 10 minutes...darn I am not going to sleep yet...going to bed late again!!!!

Anyway things are going well in general with Lil Monster...she/he is growing and taking a lot of my energy, fighting with part of body for space...

I just remember that I ask for ice cream today...but didn't see any in the freezer, did Brad forgot? I hope not, I really want ice cream (I know I didn't remember an hour ago but I do now!)..this could be a long night if I don't get ice cream now.

Just in the right place

So what I did this week?

My friend Erwin, who has been over 20 years Pen Pal with me since I was in high school came to Atlanta for a concert with a friend...directly from Aruba. We finally met at the Hard Rock Cafe. Catch on old times. He still is one of the few people I know with the most beautiful handwriting I have ever known. It was good to know that even with letters, emails and now FB nothing for me is like the feeling of a good handshake, hug or eye to eye contact to say hello to an old friend.

This week was Patriotic Week in Panama. There is the celebration of Independence from Colombia on Nov 3rd and then from Spain on Nov 28th just because we love to independence ourselves more than one time in life and be different than the rest of the other countries of the world who has one...except for few others. So, somebody decided to make a celebration of it, here in Atlanta ...and Brad, Lil Monster and me showed up at Aurum Lounge to get down on celebrations. It was fun...some war between the DJ's...but at the end the Panamanian one won. I mean his music was much better than the gangsta whatever other was trying to playing.

Returning from the party I decided that it was time to check the mail. For some reason it was necessary to check the mail at two in the morning with my feet hurting and the beginning of a ligament pain that was going to be worse the next day or better say later on...anyway, what was on the mail? My brand new US passport and card! Yiai!!! Now, I am officially a US citizen. Take that! Of course, now I need to go to the Social Security to update my records, to the DMV to change my license and update my address, so then I can go to the tax tag office to update my records of my car...and update my records at work too.

Back to Lil Monster...at work is almost a normal thing that is obvious I am pregnant. Yes I am. The belly shows and is getting bigger. Anyway there will be an entirely new post about Lil...in a couple of seconds. Hold on.

Halloween and more

So the cat is out of the box as of yesterday night. I was in class and the question was there "Am I pregnant"...HELL YEAH !!! I am! a lot of congrats and smiles. I was happy, it felt nice.

At work there are still some lookouts for "what's that" but no question is ask...I guess women have the fame to get pissed about weight issues. I don't, perhaps because I never had that issue. Anyway here is a pic with my semi Halloween costume...as you see I put two pirate headbones: a big one and a tiny one hehehe.

Now, it seems I have a small belly but TODAY...my gosh Lil Monster grew...because I feel huge. I mean HUGE.

Sinusitis in full force. Yes, another year suffering this crap and this time I am suffering big time thanks to pregnancy BECAUSE you can't take anything...only tylenol and a couple of other things that have never work for me. So I am dealing with the fact to be sick and so be it. Lil Monster will deal with me when s/he is out. Mommy is not happy right now.

21 Weeks

Congratulations Lil Monster, you have achieved quite a milestone.

In our last ultrasound...here is a pic:

And here is a pic of the father...I think he looks adorable when he is asleep.

Anyway, last week there were a LOT going on that I didn't have time for anything.
Let's do a quick recap:
1. On my 20 weeks prenatal appointment I heard his/her heartbeat and everything was looking fine.

2. On Thursday, we had our 20 weeks ultrasound and Dr. Gomez insisted that the baby was REALLY big. We saw the charts and yes, is like 2 weeks ahead the rest of the average...so I got schedule for glucose testing ahead of my 28 weeks. One of the reasons of babies can be big is if mothers get gestational diabetes. Nothing really bad but you have to get in a special carb diet.

3. On Friday, big day for me. I got my US citizenship after 5 years of be living as a US resident in this country and be a role model citizen. Brad went with me on my oath ceremony. We were starving afterwards because it was schedule at 1pm and it started like in Panama at 2pm.

4. My primary OB/GYN told me to do the glucose test since Dr. Gomez was worry about the size of the baby. I have two doctors, one OB/GYN Dr. Siegel which is originally from Argentina and Dr. Gomez who is NOT from Latin America and doesn't speak Spanish that I know of. He actually looks Indian and he is my utlrasound prenatal sepcialist because I am over 35.

5. This Tuesday I got my glucose test, and I passed so I don't have any gestational diabetes and I can keep eating very healthy as I normally have been all my life.

I still don't have any "cravings". No sweets, no nothing really. So anyway, the baby is big so far. But I have been told that sometimes they just level and you get a normal weight kiddo.  And that's it for now. I haven't buy anything new, but I need new tops. We are not buying anything for the baby yet either.

School will be over in less than we think and that is going to be a great relief and finally time back to us. We are starting to think on nursery themes and what to do to avoid painting since we are renting. Another thing we are thinking to move to another place too, we realize there are things won't change where we at and we can't think that things are going to get for the better there.

The Sweetest Day of My Life

I don't like sweets as you know...yes, I don't like them.
I don't like the sugar and sweet flavor of it. I don't like chocolate, I don't eat cakes UNTIL now.

I woke up this morning freaking out because I couldn't feel Little Monster move. S/he ALWAYS move to my right side waking me up. S/he follows me all the time  (duh obviously) and move around when I am getting to work, and again gets in the right side. Today, there was nothing. Daddy had to poke you several times until you move. And then relief from both of us. But then, nothing again.

I called the OBGYN nurse and told me to drink something really sweet and cold and wait for two hours. Yarubi, my other friend told me to eat chocolate...your daddy got me a Sneakers...and now later on I got a piece of Tres Leches. Okay I got my sugar hype and now I am like sooo awake. And you FINALLY moved!!!!!

I was freaking out....is like carrying an egg in your mouth and you have to eat and talk at the same time without breaking it. Carrying a child becomes such a precious thing. I mean with all the stuff I have been through and the sacrifices we are making to make it happen until the end, now than never I felt you belong to me and you must suceed in your development process to the outside world. But stop freaking me out like that!!!!

19 Weeks

Here we go, that's my belly...and growing. I think this kid is going to be big, I feel my belly stretching...not so glamorous. I can feel Little Monster moving around...s/he loves the right side. Not sure what's the deal about it.
Little Monster is like the size of a big mango, 6 inches and almost 9oz. Next week is our 20 weeks ultrasound...can't wait in all honesty. I can't wait to see him/her and check out how big really is.

Okay, American Greed is on and we are hooked up in that show.

Uhmm not entirely sure about this belly pics in all honesty, but whatever.

Not much events, I started the week much better than last week so there is an improvement. Sleeping is becoming quite a challenge now because my right knee pain has come back, and I need to turn right and left and with the belly is becoming uncomfortable at times.
I am drinking more water, so there is a positive note there. I have been feeling quite tired and I think one of these days I am just going to fall asleep at work. I feel so slow...like a turtle.
Okay, American Greed is on and we are hooked up in that show. Later...uhhh Little Monster keeps moving a lot!!!!..to the right side, darn it.

Beer and the Little Monster

Little Monster,
I love you.
I can feel you move
And is funny you like to be in the right side of my belly
It feels like a hardball and when mommy and daddy put their hands over, you move away
Not sure yet what are your intentions
We are starting to think how you would look like
What I can tell you now is that even I am happy
I sam still doing one of the biggest sacrifices of my life
Not drinking beer
I know sound selfish
But I have work really hard and grow up until my 18's to be able to drink such wonderful drink
I hope that you like it too when you get in that age
I hope I don't have to see you like a stupid drunk in TV when we send you to college
Oh yes because you are going to college or you are going to work full time
No excuses
Mommy and daddy will use money to continue traveling
We will be old too old
By the way we love you
I just wish to be able to get a drink today or any other day
But some scientist said that is really BAD for you at this stage
So we are waiting eagerly for March
So when you are out the first thing after I have you in my arms
and while you are breastfeeding...
I know a cold nice beer will be waiting for me in the fridge

Maternity Clothes

Okay, I promised I will be soon posting pics of me and the bump coming up...stand by

Anyway so finally this weekend I went to Sweet Repeats to check out maternity clothes. I have been in Macy's checking those clothes as well, but be spending 30-40 bucks a piece for something I am going to use for couple of months is not worth it. So I went to this store and got crazy. I even have a sweater!!! and more than 10 pieces for less than $80 bucks. I think I have never enjoying shopping as yesterday AND the place was calm. It is small and not crowded.

Thanks to my friend Cherye gave me this magnificent band to use with my current clothes. That was the first thing I started to use...why I didn't think of it and I would be rich now? To my friend Cristina who gave me a couple of maternity clothes and sent it to me with my mom...those are going to start be in the fashion show soon.

By the way, maternity clothes in general are NOT pretty but you do not have much choice...so it's a give and take. Be comfortable is the key.

Case of a Mondays

It does exist, like today.

Yesterday, returning from grocery shopping I heard a weird bubbling sound coming from my car. Like when the coolant is gone...and your car is about to set on fire. But there is no temperature alarm, nothing that indicates that the car is "hot". I just stayed there trying to get an idea where exactly the sound was coming from. Since the car was hot I couldn't do much. But I knew it wasn't going to be good.

Today, I woked up and I throw up TWO times. You know I don't get that upset as before but I still get upset. It just so exhausting to do that. My entire body feels so tired like I did a marathon. And yes sounds silly, you get over it but it's emotionally and phisically an exhausting experience. I feel pitty for myself.

Today, I was hoping the car stay put and that was an one time issue. So before I started the car (and I was already running late) I checked the coolant and didn't like what I see...my car is dirty too, it disgust me. I never have been such non conscious of my car. I normally take care of my things. How possible I don't feel link with this car? Especially I call this car my "divorce trophy". I fought for it, I paid for it and it was mine, but it wasn't at my name...hence the fight for this car was crucial. I needed to have a little win over all the rest of the things that were coming to an end. So how possible I have left this car over 3K miles overdue in oil change? How possible I haven't take it to the Cactus Car Wash for a nice one? Shame on me...now I am paying the price of not  taking care of it. I haven't done a tune up in awhile either. Well, things will change today.

I left the car in a shop near by and said "check everything and call me to decide what it needs to do, he deserves it". And I said my car deserves it because it has take me when I needed it. It has help us to go to work while Brad's car have been in the shop for over a week. Of course my car doesn't understand that I am preggo and is Monday and I need to go to work on time...I get mad at him, but is not his fault either.

Anyway, like my boss said "if life give you lemons, made a lemonade"...good idea. I bought a mango yesterday I am going to do some mango with salt, pepper and vinegar...yummy!

Boy or Girl...should I care?

One of the many questions I get are:
"do you know the sex yet?", no.
"do you prefer a girl or a boy?" not really, I have no preference. I guess with a girl at least I know how things look...a boy penis size and testicles I have no idea how they suppose they should look like at that age, but I can ask Brad if he remembers.
"do you want to find out?" I wanted to know due to practical reasons...but now I don't.

WE haven't had that discussion yet, but now I really don't want to know. I think would be great to get that surprise. I don't want to put a pink room in all honesty, I know I don't have to. I don't like pink, I think is overrated. There are so many other colors that I think could be nice with pink but not ALL pink. All blue? I love navy blue, one of my fav colors. Actually all my bedsheets are with some blue on it. Towels too. But I wouldn't put a room all blue either.  I actually like Brad's clothes  more than mine most of the time. I think girls clothes are a mess. You dress like everybody else or you will get hard time to find your own style.

Actually I found interesting that we still have bias on what suppose to be boys and girls things. On girls all is "princess", "little lady bug" and such names...for boys...all is cars, "champions", "my little lion"...really? I think that animals should be love by both, and no you are not going to be a princess you better get your homework done and go to college missy...I don't get it. Yes, I know all the social standard crap that we keep being prisoners of, well that's your choice. Oh don't ask me yet if I will have a baptism...conversations already started, we both are not religious at all...so what's the point of baptism without religion faith? but that's for another blog. In all honesty there a lot responsibility on us for this kid. We already have to decide a lot of the things that s/he has no say about. But I guess that is my sweet vengence...you little monster I am not letting mommy having a nice pregnancy...hence I will buy you clothes and feed you and you better like it hahahaha. Mommy 1 - Little Monster 0

Anyway, so now I am in this dilemma...should I know? I am a practical folk but now I am just well I can have some mistery in all this already mistery-melodrama that is my pregnancy...why not?! So for me, I don't want to know...now I have to convince Brad if he doesn't want to know. Because if he knows I KNOW I will know...he will eventually tell me in one of his clown faces or annoying bothering games that he gets when he is asking for my attention. I said they are annoying but they make me laugh. Is good to have some clown in the family. It always good.

Hiking Mount Doom

I am a fan of the Lord of the Rings...hence the title of this post. Because I have been feeling like Frodo for four months and counting.

Perhaps my expectations about pregnancy have been in EACH possible way invalidated by the fact that each pregnancy is different and it is. I don't care if you had a great and nice pregnancy...good for you! Me? not so much. I don't think I will ever have another kid, not in 1000 years even if I have the power of living forever (which thanksfully I don't).

Yes, today's post is a rant against misery. That's how I have been feeling for four months. I don't feel in touch with this little monster at all. Is taking EVERYTHING out of me, selfish? yes. If this is the type of relationship we are going to have since the start I am going for a long ride and punishment. Hopefully my misery at that point will be share, let's say the father will be responsible of a 70% of it, HAHAHA

Second trimester is supposed to be the "honeymoon stage" well I never see my Bora Bora ticket coming in the mail. Did I miss my Air France flight from Los Angeles bound to the French Polynesia without noticing? How possible!!!?? I demand a refund!

Well, I guess I will continue hiking with the help of my best friend and see if I finally I am able to keep the strenght that Frodo had.

What can a Pumpkin Latte does?

I am stealing this phrase from someone else. I know is coffee, and even for some of you sound disgusting coffee+pumpkin...let me tell you that is GREAT, and more ways than just a drink.

I had several issues, some unresolved, others needed time with a friend (from whom I stole the phrase). Conversations has started to take place...thanks to the pumpkin latte, how come? Well it says that wars can start with many factors, but peace can be resolve with a single white flag...that flag was a pumpkin latte.

So we are having a pumpkin latte once a week at least and conversations are taken place. I don't think issues are resolve in one drink, it will take severals. But at least the pumpkin is there. Which is the willingness to communicate and say things.

I am glad the pumpkin is coming up because I really wanted to tell my friend that I am having a little pumpkin and I wanted that her be part of him/her. I only hope my kid have a lot of pumpkins in his/her life.

16 Weeks: The Procession of Don Bosco

And you will be thinking who the hell is "Don Bosco". Well I am not a religious person but I was raised in Catholisism and all that jazz...I even did my first communion in the Basilica of Don Bosco, just take it for granted it IS a big big church. And I had my communion there because it was one of the few churches that still had the first communion in long dress...justi magine I wanted a long dress, hence my mother was taking me to church class every Saturday 20 minutes away from home...just for that! To become an agnostic at 35 hahaha.

ANYWAY, so this morning sickenss is like a procession...one step forward, two steps backwards...I am not sure how I will be ending in my final destination.

Things are not that bad...is just that gosh I really want to feel hungry and eat. A negra modelo would be nice...

Stupid questions for stupid people

Four months and counting.
Yesterday was our 16 weeks doctor's appointment. Some highlights:

• I was feeling really bad
• I haven't get 5+ hours of sleep in three days
• My belly is like stretching side to side and it feels really uncomfortable
• We get there early and they made us wait 1.5 hours to be attended for 10 minutes, this person was one of the rotational doctors not my primary one.
• We hear the heartbeat...strong and sound

Recap, We checked in and the wait starts...I don't understand what is the point to make an appointment at certain time, tell the person to check in EARLY and you will have to wait way more than you should. I think that I should get back some money in return for that. I hate this type of service and I am going to complaint. This is all bullshit. Simple as that.

So I told the nurse that I have been with some cramping, no bleeding, no spotting (which is ALWAYS good at this stage) and she asked me "have you drink water?" and you know I have problems with stupid questions. And I am going to tell you why they are stupid at certain point. I gave an urine sample EVERY time I get there, before the actual appointment. So they get the results. I am not dyhadrated. I have drank water, I know not like a gallon as they intent...but I just can't drink that amount because if not I will throw up. Throwing up and you WILL get dyhadrated. So I answered and try to explain to the mamoth of nurse I had in front of me that "I know, I am drinking as much as I can but I can tell you right now that I am not going or have drink 64 ounces of water per day". So she try to say that the cramps were due to the lack of water. REALLY WOMAN??? I understand CLEARLY the significance of water...but first if I haven't drank 64oz of water since I was born until now...and I had two days ago a cramp that woke me up, wouldn't you be checking something else? If it's that then the water issue should come up a week ago. But it didn't. And anyway...the previous doctor told me (and I said this) that I shouldn't get crazy to get on the water, that is a normal standard because there are people who doesn't drink any at all...but whatever I could get was fine. Is the same thing as the sushi...I bet in Japan pregnant women are not stopping eating sashimi!

When the doctor came in, the water conversation was not even mention. What it was mention, is that most likely my uterus is growing since the pain is in each side of my belly. I have some cysts and those can cause some pain time to time. Plus my placenta needs to move a bit. Saying that...why is the thing about water again? I can understand you want me to drink water, and I agree with that...but if I am telling you that to drink that amount of water will cause my throwing up hence dyhadration what is the point? think outside the box for a moment and think in the patient and the circumstances.

I just can't tolerate stupid questions especially when I am feeling crappy.

The Helper returned home

It was time for my mom to return to Panama...I know she was getting tired too, plus she had a lot of stuff undone that she has to take care. I will see her soon, I know that.

She had been of GREAT help. For sure Brad and I needed to regroup and realize that our lifes already are changing and we needed to tackle my morning sickness in a better way. The presence of my mom helped both of us to now go in our own and get things done.

I am feeling better too...so hopefully the morning sickness will go away by the end of the fourth month so I can fly to Panama to see my family and friends. The belly is starting to grow but still I do not need to change to other clothes.

I definely miss the empty room without her there, we had a lot of long conversations and this time our conversations were so much different than before. I have grow up, now we both will be mothers. I can't be more fortunate right now...wait, okay I take that back...if I can eat a nice burger from The Vortex would be awesome with a cold Samuel Adams...okay okay kidding!

Childbirth

So, okay I know is not YET my time, but I was starting watching stuff about childbirth, labor and such and I am starting to get nervous. For the ones who doesn't know...I am a big, BIG coward about pain. I hate pain...I can't tolerate pain. I got to the doctor at the moment I feel whatever thing an over the counter medication can't get through in 24 hours.

I have been through several pains in my life though...I have broke an arm, my right one...in the middle of my third year in college, NOT a good time to do so especially if you are right handed. Don't ask me how I did it but I ended up even making mechanical plot drawings for me and making money from my classmates. Then later on I had a couple of surgeries, nothing major but pain was involved. Everytime I had those minor encounters with a surgeon or a doctor I always asked: "Does childbirth hurts like this?" and the only answered I got was a consistant laugh and a "omg no dear, that one is wayyy worst than this". That didn't sound good.

I actually hope to get through it...you know, nobody tells you that being pregnant is in stages. Nothing is guarantee and I am starting to worry about many things in the meantime. If I am eating well, if I am getting angry when I should relax, if I am getting enough sleep so the baby can get all that it needs...to the most terrifying ones who are I can't feel the baby yet and I am hearing that some people at this stage do...and I don't!  I have my 4 months appointment next week and I am suffering of anxiety already to listen to the heartbeat, when I will know for sure the sex of the baby? So many questions and little answers that you get though the meantime. It's an eternal up and downs of worry and then joy. Nobody tells you that...only that "it's normal, you will be fine".

I am glad most people have the courage to believe that I will do just like that...fine, but right now I am like a nervous ball.

Baby Center

 I am not against only girl schools but I do have my reservations about it. I don't like to be around with only girls and there is a motive for that. Women are cool but in big amounts can be really annoying to me. I just can't stand them in big quantity.

I am an active, if you can say that, member of the Baby Center board for the women who estimated delivery date "EDD" is March 2012. There are some posts about certain pains, worries about miscarriages, remedies for the morning sickness. Then there are the posts that I have trouble with. Most of the time I ignore them, sometimes I can't. I guess is an ego thing of telling  people how stupid they can be. No, I don't tell them "your post is stupid", but I tried to make reasonably, objective comments when-most of them- are stay at home mothers, do not work and intent to bitch about their working husbands ALL day. Do I win something with it? No, I don't. I don't know these people (heck I hope I never met them anyway) and they don't know me.

Yesterday, I got in a back and forth discussion with the board owner because she imply a question that I made as a "possible" violation of one of the guidelines. I answered accordingly, and Brad made me realize I was discussing with an idiotic woman somewhere in this earth that obviously has a serious issues of understanding simply dictionary definitions and was using her own poor judgement to make an unnecessarily warning.

Lesson learned? Yes. I think I do not need that board in my life. Why I would go to a place in which 1/2 of the women there not only use God and hormones as the only excuse of how they feel and has nothing else to do that just be on their pc posting 24/7; the other 1/4 only bitch about their husbands or significant other and the rest, which you have to hurdle to go through  the other non sense, are the ones that I really would like to read and share. But I should know this since the beginning...it's a board full of women, I learned my lesson well. If I have to read something that I have a concern about, I will google and if not I just call my doctor.

The Boss

Okay last week I was the one who was kind of mad at my boss because he said something he shouldn't said. I guess this time around is my fault.

You know, I won't blame it to my hormones. I just would not. This time is my fault. I sent an email out of the blue with no major logical support from my side and complaint. Although I would get a point on my side IF and only IF I showed a more proactive action yesterday. And of course, all depends on the tone of the email.

I have improved quite a lot through the time since I am starting to work here...five years ago. I used to tend to send emails as I speak or think which normally means a series of words like trouble, problematic, non team player, complainer, etc etc.

Even Sam and I are having a good relationship boss-employee and in part that's why I applied this position (it took me awhile gain his trust...and a lot of chocolate) that does not mean I can tell him whatever I want to say at whatever time. This time I blew it. And I feel bad about it. Really bad. I can't give him chocolates (besides he will give them back to me later on) since he is on a diet or will get anorexic through the time (seriously). Perhaps get him today a salad.

Okay I really have to get something to eat or whatever my stomach REALLY hurts.

Ten to Fifteen Words

Something that is quite different from my culture to this one, is that there is no such thing of "lack of words" in Panama. People can spend over 30 words to just say how their day was.

I am especially a creative one. There is no story, I mean NO story that I can tell you without telling two or more other stories that not necessarily are related to the original one and still make sounds, use my hands, fringe or use any kind of tools or help to say the story(ies) that I was telling. No way on earth I can tell you how I am feeling with only "okay". No way! How can I do that? If you asked me "how are you feeling today?" I will start with "well, more or less...my stomach is still upset..." and there I go, telling from the stupid guy who cut me in the highway and suddenly start talking about my test for tonight. Half of it will be related with what I feel the other half not so much. I never have paid attention to the fact I do that. Until, well my boyfriend or other friends in here just said..."do you notice you are in the third story that has nothing to do with the first one?".

I actually notice is somewhat hereditary. I have catched my mother doing the same. OMG and don't stop to check out on my grandmother...the all story tellers of all times. She can start saying something about one cousin and you can get lost about who she is ended up talking. I found it funny, I guess some other can find it annoying...but it all goes with culture.

So one of the Big Three told me today that I should sustain an analysis short within 10-15 words. THAT is quite a challenge. The analysis actually is simple, but to keep it in 10-15 words I will have trouble with it. Why ten...why fifteen? decimal system? Does he like fives'? I know Wade from long ago now, he was my GM then my Director...and I know him. He is quite a systematic individual that reads and see things like an eagle, politically perfect I really think he can run for governor. See? I was talking first about something else and I ended up with a totally different subject.

Wish me luck...10-15 words...here we go.

Friends List

I have a long list of friends in my Facebook, but the reality I think half of them are not "really" Friends...so why I have them? A quarter of them ever say hi or remember what we had in common...some school stuff I guess but nothing else. But then you are open to see some of my pics and comment on them.

I have to say that most of them are okay and normal, fine etc. The ones that bothers me are the ones that their only way to be happy in life is to put comments about their political party in their Wall. And that's fine is THEIR Wall hence they are free to post whatever they want...in the other side, I have the right to avoid to read over and over in "My Feed" what you have to say. I really don't care. I don't care about the 1000 posts about your Christians beliefs in the spooky guy up there aka God. I don't care if you think that democrats has the answers to every single problem on earth and that republicans are to blame. And the ones that really annoys me the more, are the ones of xenofobic connotation of any kind and still they denied they are. So what I do with something like that? You do not belong to be my friend. I think at this stage of life I CHOOSE who is going to be my friend. I don't care if you think you are awesome ...for the rest of the world perhaps. But I am not the rest of the world...if you are invite to be my friend, you will received one. I have conciously check that you deserve to be my friend.

It would sound cocky, perhaps, but that's the beauty to be an adult so self confident and enjoy the freedom and power of choice. I do like friends, I have friends and I need them. I have close friends but those...are less than the fingers of my hand.  They know if they want an advice from me what I say is because I love them and I am really trying to give them help highly objective. Those are the ones that I can call at midnight and say "I need you to take me to the doctor" and they would not bail on me.

Friends for me are not an easy cake...they deserve my attention, respect, care and love...I expect the same in return.

Chinatown

I always like complaining in this blog but I have to say that right now I am happy. We went to Chinatown for dinner...which is one of my fav places to go in Atlanta. Now if you leave up north don't get all excited because it's not like real Chinatown...it's a plaza with bunch of chinese stores and a food court. I always go to China Kitchen and I can say we have been awarded with several stars from the owners since we have been going so many times we even don't have to say what are we going to order  because they already know...they even modified our selection so we can try new stuff.  I just love the fish hot pot..I am addicted to it...seriously.

Shui zhu yu (don't ask me how to pronounce it...I just can't but since is for eating that what it counts)

We took my mom so she now know some of the places that I keep saying "I can't stop eating that food". Last week we went to China Inn...same plate but beef...oh gosh is SOOO good and so spicy unfortunately my mom can't eat those...but we got her trying several others. Today she said "I will try those sticks" referring to the chopsticks. And walla...the moment she took them she just started pick up food and all like a Pro...my mother can keep surprising me so many times.

Do's and Dont's

After enjoyed almost all my life of doing whatever I want...it's amazing that still society fight with you about those "things" that you should "not" do.

You born and your parents tell you the hell bunch of stuff that you should not do.
You go to school and bunch of other people tell you another stuff that you should not do.
You go to the university and STILL you meet bunch of other people that tell you what you should not do.
You go to adult age and the state tell you that you have some "rights" BUT there are plenty of other things that you should not do if not things will go plain wrong.

Then you passed all that you are a professional and you do whatever you want taking in account all those things you still should not do...some you do anyway.

Then you go to the doctor and they tell you that you cannot eat this and that because...and here is my argument why? So I can't eat (supposedly) Feta cheese because the REAL feta cheese is not pausterized. You know I love Pasteur I think he was a great chemist...but not in hell I like the feta cheese out of Publix. I do like the REAL feta cheese. If you have been in Greece like me or in a very good Greek restaurant you know what I am talking about.  Sushi...okay really? so what Japanese women do??? stop eating sushi HELLOOOO give me a break on that. Actually I think this is all about every person sue whoever they want regardless of a true argument in this country, that's why.

BTW today I had a greek salad for lunch with feta cheese not sure if it's pausterized or not...I really don't care.

Moody Blues

I have been talking a lot with my mom and that has helping me a lot...still I feel upset about almost going out and throwing out everything I just ate. I just can't pass over it. I guess I just need time and patience...whatev.

The weather looks perfect to fly somewhere...not sure where but I have study to do, my mom is here and I promised to take her to a mall which I actually want to go to check some baby stuff and see if I can check a Thrift store on Saturday. Hopefully I will wake up in good mood...thinking positive.

Yesterday I was watching several episodes of "I didn't know I was pregnant" in Health Discovery...pretty interesting, shocking and revealing...what a lucky women in someway because it was almost like an adoption just like with your own baby. Heck you didn't suffered of anything and walla! heck you are pregnant now push and...there you go it's a baby girl!!!!

9/11 is coming again...and I know everything will be a bombshell of all the stories. I don't think I will read or watch anything about it. I don't want those things in my head right now. Okay, I lied again. Darn it! So I did watch THE WAR yesterday about the war in Tarawa (WWII)...and how the different aspects of fighting segreation in Mobile, Alabama, the concentration camp against the Japenese Americans in the West Coast and how blacks and japanese americans wanted to fight for a country that was giving its back just because they weren't look americans e.g. white.  That got me and I got REALLY upset, I didn't finish it because I fell asleep. Then today I read a story about a pilot in a flight from Tokyo to San Francisco during the 9-11 attacks and what they had to do to land the plane in US soil.

Well got the news my boss decided to say more  that he was authorized to say about my pregnancy...now I am getting a lot, I mean a LOTTTT of chocolates for his mouth and I am enjoying a little bit of his guiltiness feeling. He is a good guy but should stop drinking those Rockstar drinks sometimes.

Brad was talking to my dad over the phone yesterday night...I never enjoy much that because my dad ALWAYS said things about me that are not entirely true even I know he said it in a good way. He is suffering because he had to do laundry hahaha time dad to do something for yourself!

Okay I am getting through a Mexican candy...and I am about to gag now. I like it but I hate it...can't get the flavor yet. Not sure I am going to finish this shit...aggg. Okay Sam decided to put like three M&M, 2 chocolate granola bars, and one fruit snack, that's his way to say "I am sorry". Men, men, men.

14 Weeks

Eh no pictures. You know what is funny, I thought during pregnancy you had like one thousand pics of your fetus...like every week or so...so disappointing. I mean s/he ALREADY made clear that s/he is there because someone (not him/her apparently) will be miserable and that has to be mommy, ha! jeez thanks, if our relationship is already based in this type of arguments...I see a LONG way ahead with this kid. Patience is something I never had. Funny, my mother always told me that every single of your sins you paid it alive if you have kids...living it now.

Anyway so 14 weeks and counting...that's a good sign hopefully for better because I am getting hungry but STILL I can't eat what I want...so it's kind of confusing. Hungry but throwing up...not so good together, right? Belly signs are starting to come up...can't wait to see some faces around when this thing starts to really bumps out...hahaha ayyy can't wait. I guess that will be my best laughing part of the whole story.

I woke up in bad mood, I had a strange dream about a conversation I had with a coworker yesterday before I left for class. He is nice and all but sometimes it gets me in my mood especially because he is SOOOO egoman. I just don't get what's the deal with the ego thing. It's okay to have it but when it goes overboard can be asfixia for a person like me, and I just don't deal with it. But anyway my day is coming up better than my dream because I got my stuff done, well almost done but my sas job with my last touch (on my own) got running. Yiai for me.

I was suppose to have lunch with my ex boss when now seems far far away...aggg and I am so hungry and I really need to get something going on my stomach NOW.

The great news today is that I convinced my mother to stay couple of days more. Yesterday I broke up in tears for no reason that I felt alone. I hugged her and beg her to stayed and she DID!!! I know my dad and my sister and the rest of my family including my beautiful niece Mia (she is so cute on the phone) wants her back but Maritza needs mommy a little bit more...you guys have her for the other 330 days of the year!!! Brad hugged me and I cried again...I don't know, yesterday I was quite hormonal I guess. He is so sweet, and i know all that make him sad because he miss his family too. Well let's not get moody or I will start crying again...

4 AM

It says that Second Trimester is the time that most women experience the "best" time during their pregnancy. Well there is a discrimination apparently in that "most" because I am out of it. I feel like crap today. After a weekend of feeling some kind of re-energy built through my body...is gone. I think this child doesn't like me to go to work, and have some issues with Panamanian food too. Yesterday I ate one of my favorite "arroz con pollo" (chicken with rice all mix in one thing) and I just couldn't hold it. Poor mom, she was disappointed because she really thought I was going to hold it. I barely ate like 8 spoons...I swear and it was all gave up to the toilette. What I ate later? KFC mashed potatoes with gravy and coleslaw, southern kid! suffering from cholesterol at this early stage in life hahaha.

And that was just fine...until today at 4am. I suddenly woke up because no position satified my body. I have no belly really...I mean almost nothing, just kind of a bump. I keep rubbing it and talking to it like some kind of nerd saying things be good to mommy...daddy is worry because I look sick and all that...what I got? some kind of gas response. It feels retarded seriuosly...it's like what I am doing? talking to my belly, really? I mean his/her ears are not fully developed yet so s/he can't hear.

Oh yes, back to 4am...sorry I write as I spoke (I change themes in matter of seconds) so I woke up, couldn't sleep...suddenly Brad woke up and he is like..."do you need that I do something?" he is so sweet, really but what he can do? nothing really. I said " I am okay...eh I think I am going to throw up" and so be it, I went to the porcelain hall of fame...ended with a horrible headache that I still have. I feel like dying in all honesty. By 6am I got a pouched egg which I love and some crackers. I stayed with the plate over my chest for about an hour and then I got up...since well we have to go to something called work. It really was more than an hour but I felt like dying...like an eternal flu (I guess, since I haven't get the flu here...just a cold).

So back to the "most women" whatever...I really HOPE this improves if not I am really going to get in a depression...seriously, this is awful. And don't tell me again "it's going away" because is not. Okay, sorry I am just sensitive and negative today. Okay back to work...my boss just catch me writing this shit.

The Helper

My mother came two weeks ago to help me out while I have been in such kneeling habits with the Porcelain God.

The food has been amazing, and even she helped on cleaning...I think Brad is reconsidering his food habits again, not that they were bad and we actually ate pretty good...but my mom food is you know..."mom's food".

HOPEFULLY we will be able to travel soon back to Panama...I need to see my friends and rest of my family plus my cousing Yessica told me that my grandmother belly touch can predict better than an ultrasound the sex of the baby OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Plus I am craving tamales...I found mamon in HMart the other day can you believe it? mamon!!!

Last of the Mohicans

You know what is the BAD luck to be the last of your friends lists to get pregnant?
I can tell you about it.

Is that everybody seems to know now what you must do because they did it. Don't get me wrong I LOVE my friends...and I do appreciate advices. But the reality I am not the "all mommy" style. And I know that's why many of them are still in shock I am actually pregnant...heck I am in schock too. I mean ME? the all liberal one? well I am. I am still pro choice, I still consider women have way more power than they think and I am not a religious/church believer and I won't change that part of me. Which part I have changed? Well not by choice I can tell you that.

Why I decide it? I don't know. I guess in part the fear that I really wouldn't be able to have a child...ego? perhaps. Is Brad choice too and so be it is not fair to deprive somebody you love of something that they love too. That is harder than I thought? HECK YEAH! This shit is taking every bit of my accumulative energy. I feel weak most of the time and in bad mood. Hormones? Not sure...a mix of everything I guess. I do miss beer though. I do. I miss to drink. People say you really won't miss it. Sorry, I don't think you have to miss it....I DO. I do miss my Ron Abuelo too.

I haven't take a pic of myself because first of all not sure if I want to be posting pictures of me and my growing belly, we'll decide later. Yes, I know for many is the "best time" of their lives...but for me...is just another stage. See and here is why?

I am too busy in my head to be thinking ONLY of this. Sound weird but it is. I am too busy.

Did I say I am finishing my MBA? oh yes...amazingly I am studying AND working at the same time. I am not sure how I am doing all these three things but there are days I just want to cry and I have. Pufff I cried the other day like a baby.

I know when I start feeling the baby moving I will get more on my baby gears stuff...but right now I am thinking how to prepare myself for this  week, finishing the analysis that Roberto wanted me to finish before Labor Day weekend and I didn't because we had a misunderstanding about a data and then I have to prepare for a case that I may or may not discuss in my Negotiation Class for Tuesday AND still fight with my stupid complex that has the worse AC system ever and has cost us big chunk of money in our power bill for negligence from their part. And still I haven't get the car for oil change and I am way over due.

I actually never thought that writing in these blogs make me feel so good. You will get bored of me.

The Most Difficult...so far

Of course no blog can't be without a RANT! queja, querella...whatever:

Breakfast: I don't like breakfast. I have never be a person who eats breakfast. I like to get one cup of coffee and that's it. Life WAS great. Now I have to eat salt crackers ( Oh I don't like crackers either) in bed which is disgusting to have all those crumps over me. Brad has to run, sleepy man, to do some sandwich of some sort or a cereal before I start throwing up. Yes, I am still kinda of a miserable break because I do suffered from morning/lunch/dinner sickness.

Lunch: Most of the time is okay but I need to divided it in two or three parts. So I basically start at 11.30 and will be finishing around 2pm. So ridiculous.

Snacks: I don't snack...I HATE IT. Actually I never was raised snacking. My mother will give me carrots to watch cartoons. Cheese whiz, potato chips? nope.

Dinner: I used to have a big dinner...again I divided in two. Then take my vitamins.

Around 9-10 falling asleep like a bear.  And everything starts again...fun fun fun.

Oh hydration...yeah because you have to drink like a water fountain. yeaks! I am still having troubles with that...have tried everything and I am doing my best.

The GOOD news is that I can eat all the hot pot that I like in Chinatown so I am really really happy about it

12 Weeks - The Jumping Little Monster

And here is our Little Monster!!!

Amazing isn't it?

We just can't believe that THING is growing inside me. I still don't have a bump o barriguita...pero ahi viene. Y eso que yo vengo de una casa cientifica y pienso como una cientifica, nada te prepara para cuando te ponen el ultrasonido...y boom boom boom escuchas el latido...que eso eso? de veda veda? waow...y la cabeza, y los deditos...Brad says he counted all five...I hope he meant all five of ONE hand! My mom was there, she came visit for a week...now two weeks and she has been such a great help. Moms are unbelievable. My mom was laughing because Brad's face was like not sure amusing, confuse...men are incredibly funny.

My risks came out amazingly good. Again the ticking clock right? So they put you this risks because after 30 you are like dying...at 35 you are basically dead...and me, 37...having a child at 38 is like miracle science. ANYway...so the risks of down syndrome are for a woman giving birth at 38 are 1:155 there are some charts more nice than the one the Prenatal Consultants used...and my odds for that came as 1:3081 and for trisonomy 13&18 the odds are 1:283 and mine came in as 1:5081. So in few words...the odds to have a down syndrome child at my age is 1 in 155 births a probability of 0.6% but mine came in wayyyy less than that. So I will sleep okay, anyway whatever it is and how it comes it will be love. That's what we agreed upon.

7 weeks

Oh I suppose to post some pictures, but here is the deal they are all in paper since my super clinic is not like fancy fancy using Ipads like the ones I saw in the news the other day...so hold on. I need to get my camera, download them in this computer and then post them in here...hokus pokus!

A little bit of background

I am from Panama (that is between Costa Rica and Colombia if your geography skills has failed you once more), from the city which bares the same name of the country and I have lived in the US for 5 years now.

So as many of you know, I do have a Facebook page but bunch of other people (especially from work) are there and I don't want to be announcing that I am pregnant over there.

Creating a blog is NOT my thing. I don't like to read hence I don't like to write...but I am doing this just for the sake of not waiting until 9 months and then bam! "I should have done this".

Brad and I are getting on the 3 year mark of being together...amazingly, that has last more than my previous marriage who ended as we say in Panama "de sorpresa" but things were coming to an end earlier than many of you would know and I am not getting in details just saying I am trully happy with Brad.

I guess the good thing of these blogs is that I can write exactly as I think without major commitment for being publish in a local newspaper, so who cares about the grammar. English is NOT my first language as many of you will or know but heck I have to decide ONE language at a time. I am NOT going to translate this crap either.So bare with me...sometimes I will speak in both language, others times in Spanish and so on.

Brad and I had this conversation like couple of months ago about to go for it or not. For the ones who don't know we have a ten year gap between us and I am not getting any younger and the stupid biological clock give little to my years of studying, smart and wise decisions in life...the biological clock only cares about my eggs! How dare! well nobody is perfect that's why I don't believe in any divine thing. Because sorry there was something PLAIN wrong if you think a 16 year old child should be allow to have a kid...well actually there are some even older that shouldn't be allow to reproduce but that's for another post.